Not Gon Cry

I was talking to some people the other day about how I can not cry. I get real sad and my eyes may even water up but tears do not flow. One person suggested I might be afraid to be seen as weak. I don't agree with that. I am not afraid of being seen as weak by others. I could care less who sees me cry. I think I don't cry now because I have been holding it in for so long that my body automatically responds with deep sorrow and no tears.
I don't cry because I don't want life to think it defeated me. I don't want life to see how it made me cry because of my circumstances. I feel if I cry, then I am forfeiting or I am throwing in the towel. Or I am weak. I guess when it all boils down to it, I don't want to be seen as weak. I don't want to be seen as someone who lets life get the best of her so I don't shed any tears.