These past few months I have realized quite a few things about myself. First, I learned that I am a giver. I give until I can't give anymore. Actually, I take that back because even when I can't give anymore I still try to give. I would probably give up my last breath if it could save someone's life. Although being a giver can be a positive thing, it is also an often abused attribute. People do take advantage of me. It hurts when they do it but for some odd reason I cannot say no. Now, the people who tend to take advantage of me are the people I care for the most. Strangers and associates I can say no to because they mean nothing to me.
Another thing I am guilty of is taking care of people. When you love someone, then you want the best for them. I notice the small things in people's lives. So, if I notice you are short on gas money, I will make sure you get to work/school if I have to drive you myself. If you are hungry, I will cook for you. If you need an ear to listen, I am willing. I am always happy to do it. The problem is no one does these things for me.
The major issue with being a giver and carer is that I end of being hurt in the long run. I give out so much and expect nothing in return. Unfortunately, my expectations are often met. So, is this a legit dilemma or am I simply tripping?
I feel as if I need to change. Not necessarily change who I am but I should definitely hold better expectations for people in any type of relationship with me. I want to be a stronger person and able to say 'No.' I don't want to allow people to walk all over me. But how can I do that without coming off mean? I am way too concern about other people's feelings that I ignore how I am feeling. I can't let that keep happening. There is nothing wrong with having such a big heart. I just have to take care of me first before I can take care of others.
Shoutout to my friends that reciprocate! I appreciate you all! I just hate you are so far away!!
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